Trogdor the Chefinator

The Dream...

Yes I know I've been an absentee parent for a while.
Tough.
Get over it.
Move on with your life.

Anyway.

Couple of months back my closest co-worker (and by closest I mean he stands 3 feet from me about 70 hours a week, and I consider him a close personal friend) around halloween comes in and is doing his usual thing prepping and the like and is very quiet. This is the actual conversation that ensued.

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"I had a weird dream last night."
silence.

Me.
"That's a great story, thank you for sharing it."

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"You were in it."

Me.
"Umm, I don't like where this is going man."

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"You and I flew to Thailand."

Me.
"Ok, this is getting better."

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"Yeah you would think so, but it gets worse."

Me.
"Hmm, I think a trip to Thailand involving you and me could only be great."

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"Well we do all the usual stuff."

Me.
"Under-age hookers, opium etc. etc.?"

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"Right. but there is more."

Me.
"Well it sounds like a good start to me, I'm all ears as to what we do next."

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"Well we go to another "brothel" of sorts, where I pay 10 grand for us to kill a man."

Me.
"Yeah and?"

Moment of silence as he searches for words.
"No, I mean I pay 10k for us to actually kill a man."

Me.
"Yeah I got it, here's 10 large there's a dead man, I've adopted your premise, what's the hangup?"

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"Well in the dream, outside the room with the tied up guy and a gun I start to have second thoughts."

Me.
"Yeah sounds like you, what of it?"

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"Well in the middle of my trying to inform you of my doubts about the morality of this action, you walk in close the door I hear a gunshot you're out 2 seconds later telling me 'That was GREAT!!!! let's do it again!!"

Me.
"Yeah sounds like me, what's the hangup?"

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"I'm just a little weirded out by the blasé way you walk in and cap this stranger for no other reason than to do it."

Quiet-pensive moment for Me.
"Do I have to use a gun?"

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"What?"

Me.
"I mean 10K is a lotta money for what amounts to a second and a half thrill."

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"What the hell are you talking about?"

Me.
"Do I only get one bullet? is it a pay by the bullet type of deal? Do I have to use a gun at all? What if I want to beat him to death?

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"See I knew I shouldn't have told you this."

Me.
"What if I want to re-enact historical events or scenes from movies? Does that cost extra? What if I want to do the cop torture scene from Reservoir dogs? Or maybe something from the inquisition? Can I bring my own accessories and people or do they provide that? Is there an up-charge for that?

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
"Please stop talking."

Me.
"How about this I get 5 guys to throw in and we string the guy up like and go at him with bats like a pinata?"

Quiet-pensive-co-worker.
(softly crying to himself)



I mean come on 10k is a lotta money for such a short ride you know?

posted by Chef @ 1/07/2007 07:43:00 PM